Gwynn Is Almost Here

This weekend should be wonderful. Gwynn is coming up to visit me and Kylie. We are going to have a blast. Such as joining Marty for a movie Saturday night, dropping in on Diane’s party (sorry for the wal-mart confusion), having wine and vodka, listening to great music, and what ever else.

Gwynn… What an amazing girl. And she gets eProps as though if she gets enough she’ll win a prize.

What I Like

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I thought I’d make a picture that shows what I think is really sexy on a woman and what kind of kisses I am a sucker for.

1.) Who doesn’t like the Catholic School Girl look?
2.) Along with being a sucker for necks, I love shoulderless dresses and short cocktail dresses.
3.) It is a short black dress, but it has those tie up high heel shoes - those are great. Anything with ties is good, because it makes you think about the fun of untying them.
4.) Kissing against walls is awesome.
5.) Mmm, those boots. I’m not sure what it is about boots.
6.) Straps along the thighs are good
7.) Kissing necks.
8.) And one I couldn’t find is those great necklaces that are lace or whatever and go right around the neck very snug and have a charm in the front.

What do you like?

The ultimate outfit would combine all of those. Instead of boots she could wear those tie up high heels that go really high. It is nice to be decisive, and on my tastes I am very decisive. 

Tonite versus Tonight

Speaking of tonight, ever wonder what the difference is? According to dictionary.com,
Tonite is “an explosive compound,”
Tonight is “the night of this day.”

Changing Majors

In an effort to save money at college, I have decided to change my major to Used English Literature.

Variety Is the Spice of Life

Therefore I must be pepper. As you see, the site has undergone a little change. I’m going to try out a few new layouts for a change. Maybe it will boost my creativity a bit. What do you think?

Limerick: We had snow and now its gone. All thats left is muddy lawns.

Make Fun of Jocks Day!

Kenny had a great post on the names for different groups of animals, which got me thinking, would are the names for different groups of people. These are what came to mind…

Dick of Jocks (my favorite, because we all hate jocks)
Giggle of Girls
Quantum of Physicsts
Jones of Archeaologists
Brilliance of Xangans
Heatwave of Sorority Girls
Annoyance of Assholes
Rash of incontinents

And I’ve decided that a group of alarm clocks going off at 6:00am is equivalent to hell. Or at least getting there. Note, don’t think of ten alarm clocks. Rather, be on thinking along the lines of 600. The really loud kind, with the funky snooze button that is hard to find in your dazed morning confussion.

Beds should get s l o w l y uncomfortable throughout the night, that way when you wake up the bed is never in that perfect state of warmth and comfort from which you don’t want to be removed. It would be easier to get up if staying in bed wasn’t comfortable.
What is your craftmatic adjustable bed number?

All of that completely ties in to the fact I saw the movie Blazing Saddles for the first time last night. Mel Brooks is funny, but he likes songs too much. The man should make a rule none of his songs will be more than 2 minutes. However, his best movie is still Top Secret with Val Kilmer. It has more punchlines, visual gags, and Nazi’s than all of the holocaust combined.

Come to think of it, the holocaust wasn’t very funny. Hitler invading Russia in the winter… now that is funny. Stupid man. The only army to successfully invade Russia in the winter was the Mongols led by the Gehngis Khan. And they purposely invading during the winter so they could cross the rivers when they were frozen. Horses weigh much less than Nazi tanks. Oh yea, the Nazi’s didn’t take winter gear either.

Pathetic Names for Vicious Things

The problem with scientists is they have no creative imagination for naming diseases. Polio sounds like a game, AIDS sounds like… well, i dunno, SARS sounds like an international alliance of some sort, and bird disease? If it was called “Searing Pain and Constant Puking” disease people would become more aware of it. Or in third world countries if you called AIDS “Won’t Let You Into America” Disease then people would be more likely to wear condoms. Not to be cruel, but rather effective.

The only way people will become more aware and cautious about diseases is when the names make them cower in fear. Would you cower if the head of a major mafia family was named Cynthia? You’d probably keel over laughing. Let us rename things.

Music Mix

The first five songs to come up when my MP3 player was on random:

1.) Come Undone - A Capella version by Georgetown University Phantoms
2.) China Girl - David Bowie
3.) I Know What I Know - Paul Simon
4.) Wreck of the ‘97 - Johnny Cash
5.) Jealous Guy - John Lennon

“If you are gay, you probably want to date someone with a small penis.”
           - Reese

Betta Seeking Submissive Amphibian

Name: Mandrake
Age: A few months, but he is very mature.
Birthplace: Wal-Mart?
Enjoys: buccal/opercular pumping (the process by which gills work, roughly), long walks in the water, swimming in a circle, getting stuck in the plastic plant (he likes to wedge himself between the plant and rocks sometimes… silly guy), dance dance revolution,
Dislikes: Cats, fish hooks, submarines, sharks, people thumping on his aquarium.
Most Embarassing Moment: Getting to a bar and realizing he can’t use the bathroom unless he is in the toilet.
Music Interests: the Little Mermaid soundtrack, U2,
Favorite Movie: A Fish Called Wanda (hysterical)
Favorite Book: Moby Dick
Favorite Quote: “Call me Ishmael.”

Random Thoughts and Questions

1.) I want a wallet that organizes money when you close it. The most annoying thing is when a clerk gives you the money in a random order and you have to organize it all over again.
2.) Last night, it took the waiter three tries to get my receipt correct. How many times can a person mistake… SHRIMP for CHICKEN Sure, Wendy’s messed up Chicken and Cow, but not THREE times.
3.) Helping Reese pick out Tux’s for the wedding, we came to the realization there should only be two choices for Tux’s “Sean Connery James Bond” and “Pierce Brosnan James Bond.”
4.) Tuxs should come with shoulder holsters.
5.) The Grooms can have a flask holster.
6.) What is a good way to start off a wedding speech?
7.) Music is good for the soul.
8.) Toothpaste is good for the breath.
9.) When you go on a date, such as last nights, be sure to take a coat she can wear in the rain. Poor Gwynn had to walk around cold (i insisted she wear it, but she didn’t want to ruin the leather in the water).
10.) Sitcoms should be funny.

Man On Fire

It isn’t a new Denzel Washington movie, but rather me. Apparently I am on fire attracting members of both sexes. First, Reese and Tasha came up to celebrate her 21st birthday. We were all getting on to an elevator, and this gorgeous girl was standing their dressed up. I struck up a light and humorous 2 minutes conversation with her. She explained she was dressed up because I friend took her out to dinner, because “I don’t go on ANY dates.”

Like a fool, I didn’t ask her name, because I thought it was a major hint to not ask her on a date or anything. Well, turns out she said “MANY” not “ANY.” So I felt like a fool because the girl had practically asked me to ask her. I have no idea who she was or where she lives. I’d never have noticed, but Reese and Tasha were like “Why didn’t you ask her out?”

30 Minutes later, we walk into a bar and a guy starts hitting on me in 30 seconds. I was flattered, but it felt a little akward.

Good Times Had By All

Missing the girl in the elevator doesn’t matter too much seeing as I had a wonderful time on a date with Gwynn, which was a blast. We ended up eating at Chilis and going to the Green Door, which has green lighting, in Bricktown.  Everyone there was dressed in emo/gothic/ihatemyparents look, except this girl. She looked completely out of place, but very content…

Ski To Class

“Lets all ski to class” is the campaign slogan I will use to run for something. Here is my idea. We are going to dig up campus, move all the buildigns, and then put tons of hills in. Next, we’ll buy a weather control device like the one Stewie makes in the Family Guy, which can be purchased easily at E-Bay (if some bastard ass doesn’t out bid you…no, i’m not bitter about it), in order to create massive amounts of snow.

Then we can ski to all our classes and look like this…

We’ll be sledding, skiing, and snowboarding around looking like this… At least we don’t go to the Lava and Magma University of Hawaii, where people run around looking likes this…

Dancing Que…Kings

Saturday night I played Dance Dance Revolution for 6 hours straight with friends on Kerr 10. We used a projector, so in essence we had a ten foot by ten foot tv screen. I’ve worked my way up to Standard difficulty songs, which are hard for those who don’t know. I’m not great at them yet, but getting there. Matt can really hold his own.

Afterwards I went and hung out with Kylie and Gwynndallynn (who was visiting). I felt akward though because I had to smell from playing DDR so long. Oh well.

One Order of Ninjas

Sunday Kylie, Kenny, Gwynndallynn, and I ate at Hunans, where we ordered the ninja buffet. It was okay, but about to close - so we got ripped off. Afterwards we came back and everyone played some DDR - except Kylie who had managed to fall in the parking lot the night before… she wasn’t even drunk. Like all the other women out there, Kylie and Gwynn are trying to get to Sock Monkey - they’ll have to use me first though!

Cursed

Are your ideas doomed to suck? Mine are, because the kind people in studio made me this sign to remind me…

Weekend

This week has gone by quick! Wow! only 17 more weeks to go! This week is a three day weekend, and we can thank inequality for that. I mean that in a good way in that a great man rose up in the midst of a challenge to the rights of people of our nation. His name is Martin Luther King, who has nothing to do with the Lutheran Church.

“Do You Like Dags?”

Today, Jason and I went to Tulsa. We were accompanied by Zane, who looks like this…

Isn’t he cute? Well, he was great - he slept all day riding in the car. We took him into Petsmart and he freaked. By the way, having dog piss all over your stores floor is no attractive. He apparently has only met about 3 other dogs in his whole life.
Note: he isn’t ours. We’re taking him to the vet later to see if he has swallowed any huge diamonds.

Cow Tastes Like Chicken

While in Tulsa, we went to Wendy’s. We ordered two number twos (double cheeseburgers). My double cheese burger looked a lot like a single breast chicken sandwich. For all these years I was wrong. At last my ignorance has been corrected by the brilliant, minimum wage earning employees of a corporation…

Everyone Knows Your Name

Went to Stonewall’s Thursday night and there was a whole troop of people I knew. Nothing is better than meeting a bunch of people who already know your name. Kylie and Amber introduced me to a few more Xangans: JeremyLikesPez and MusicRunsTheWorld.

Studio

Everything has settled down in Studio and we are starting to do the designing of a library. This week has been research. While you are slaving away at thermodynamics, calculus, statistics, market forecasting research, and the manipulation of genetic material, the brave forces in Studio are cutting, bending, twisting, slicing, tilting, glueing, and pinning cardboard to look like this…
What a peaceful day in the village…

Oh, no! What is that?

Oh, so nice (which I originally spelled “Oh, so noice.” I think it is the Australian spelling. Ever wonder what the real differences between American, British, and Canadian English are? Well, Canadian English is really French. They haven’t quite mastered the language yet, and the political world agrees everything they say is pretty much rubbish whether you can understand it or not. British English is pompous, but with a very subtle, cunning wit to it. And American English? We say the words beer, boobs, and breasts a lot (well, that makes up 90% of television vocabulary).

Speaking of which, there should be a new word invented that isn’t as immature as boobs, but not quite as mature as breasts. Stupid idea - never mind.