Quote:
Autumn: “Pistol Pete should ride one of those things where there is a stick with a horse head on it.”
Me: “You mean a stick horse.”
Autumn: “Yea.”

A Great Deal of Nothing

Me and Sock Monkey enjoying an issue of the Onion, which was the first time I’d ever held a real copy of the gem. Being done with finals I am trying to think of all the ways I can do something while doing nothing. Here are examples…

This is me striking my Juxta-pose.

Here I am doing nothing on my bed. Nothing ever happens here. You can come over and that won’t change how much doesn’t happen there.

Nothing ever happens on the couch either.

Ice Cream

In Paris this summer Carl and I were walking along the street when we came across two people inspecting a bum, who appeared to have heat stroke, on the street. Carl called the ambulance and the four of us (2 + 2= 4) waited for it to arrive.

Proper etiquette in France states under Article 6, Section 22 of Being Snooty that “When waiting for an Ambulance to pick up a bum, you must purchase ice cream (that the bum cannot afford) and eat it over him.” It sounds wrong, but that is what the two French men did.

Curiously Strong Cocaine

Two weekends ago I tried Cocaine for the first time, as in Liquid Cocaine the ever delicious mint tasting shot. By mint tasting… imagine eating an entire tin of altoids at once (the spell check suggest i use the word deloids, not altoids) It will get you drunk while leaving you with almost acceptable breath.

In regards to alcohol I’ve generated a new rule: Drunk friends will break your Dance Dance Revolution pad. Especially if it is the DDR pad you like.

Since shot reminded me of the word snot, has there ever been a scientific study to conclude the gallon capacity of the nasal cavities? It is interesting how long you can blow your nose and still have stuff up there (other than buttons). It seems to be magically enchanted by the wizards of Hogwart’s or some such. I’m spending a lot of my day conducting an experiment on this.

Quote:
“At times you run for miles around a track. You know how far you’ve run but everyone going by thinks you’ve not even started. Displacement is a bitch.”

Accomplishments

Recently the skills of creation were test when I made action figures, inspired by theBili, with Mexispud. Though we’re not as good with the sculpty stuff as Bili, we didn’t do too bad a job (though matt did much better than I did, which is why those figures are both by him).

Have you ever seen a better sculped Spud or Pope?

What is up there?

You can’t always be sure why you do something, but you usually remember it. I remember sticking a button up my nose when I was six (i don’t remember why). Looking back, I think it would have been more stylish to go for a pearl snap up there. The button wouldn’t come out and my mom had to get help me get it out, so don’t bother trying to look for it next time we meet. When you are six you can do stuff like that because… you are six and your brain isn’t fully developed yet.

Similar to the time…
…I tasted the wax of a flavored candle and it did taste the way it smelled ( Kylie witnessed.
…In Junior High I won a beauty pageant at Youth Group. Yes, at Church.
…I burned my name in a piece of wood using only a magnifying glass.
…I made a universal statement that was true.
…Or the time my Taxi driver in Spain had to ask a sheep herder for directions.

When It Rains It Pours

Last night was the Student Union’s Casino night which finished off with an auction for donated prizes. I made off like a bandit. I’d have made off like a bandito but I don’t own a pair of maracas or a sombrero.

Loot won: LOTR: Fellowship of the ring box set, the Wedding Singer, and the Three Amigos. A few nights ago I won the movie American Beauty.

There was a bidding war between me and a girl for the Wedding Singer. She turned to me and said “That is the only thing here I want, and I’ve only got 250 tickets to bid.” I looked at her, felt for the mercy in my heart, and told the auctioneer “Two hundred and fifty one.” Why make her believe she could win when I could let her know straight off the bat.

Then at McDonald’s I paid $3.67 for 2 double cheeseburgers and value fries. When I get home and open the bag there are 2 large orders of fries, a cheeseburger, and a six pack of McTed Nugents. This was great because 2 large orders of fries alone is more then $3.67.

What is up there?

It is hard to get a sense of scale for things when there is no one else standing around. I’ve got all my Black and White negatives from this summer’s trip to Europe scanned in finally thanks to my Dad. This is a picture of the Magdalene Cathedral in Paris, France.

Quote:
“We have the barrier of a common language here.”