Support

It is good to support our friends and remind them they have the strength to reach the goals before them. This semester I know several people who are working hard to have healthier bodies. One of them is Maria, and it would be awesome if you could take the time to show her some support.

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

Some majors have all the sweet hook ups.

Recently I’ve become an inventor because I need mental stimulation during psychology class.

Originally I planned to pass the class time by hunting the massive population of squirrels on campus, but I don’t sit near a window in class. So, in my fifty minutes of desperation I have started inventing new dinosaurs because there is a shortage of cool dinosaurs. Besides, they can eat the squirrels. Not only is dinosaur inventing fun, but people are always impressed to meet a real dinosaur inventory (Inventorsaurous). Everyone acts all unimpressed, but I know deep down inside they envy me.

Though I’ve not made working prototypes because John Hammond is with holding funding until I can find a proper supply of cavemen to feed the dinosaurs, the schematics and sketches I have are first class. When inventing dinosaurs it is important to make sure they abide by the The Three Rules of Dinosaurs…

1.) All dinosaurs, even herbivores, eat meat… especially meat made of cavemen.
2.) All dinosaurs, even herbivores, have hundreds of sharp teeth and spikes on their tails.
3.) All dinosaurs must protect themselves without violating the other rules and while maximizing the number of primitive huts destroyed and cavemen eaten.

Imagine how lame Asimov’s rules for dinosaurs would have been compared to mine.

Species: !!!!ROAR ROAR DINOSAUR!!!!
Diet: Cavemen and unicorns.
Enjoys: Eating cavemen and long walks along the meteor impact.

The Ultimate Family Sitcom

From the mind that brought you the story of “Ninjak: the ninja lumberjack” comes the television show people have been anticipating since the start of this sentence…

“Full House of Spiders” stars Jeff Daniels as Stephanie and a giant spider as the adorable Michelle. The kicker is that no one realizes Michelle is a spider, which is what is known in show biz as “Solid Gold, Baby!”

Since Jeff Daniels (co-star of “Dumb and Dumber”) is Dave Coulier (the ever witty “Uncle Joey” who had a fondness for placing his hand up the rectum of small woodland creatures) from the future sent back in time to stop the Olsen Twins from developing an empire that later leads to the rise of the Terminators whose mission is to destroy horses from causing amnesia in season finales, Jeff and Daniel might as well be in a show together.

And the next door neighbor is not the annoying Kimmy Gibler, but rather the ever awesome Anna. She plays the only person who realizes Michelle is a spider and that Jeff Daniels sucks at guitar.

Classic overview

In speech class Prof. Danuser talked about eye brow raising. She didn’t have much to say about this topic and neither do I except unless you are Devin then you shouldn’t be attempting an eye brow raise. She is the best eye brow raiser ever. Just because you have eye brows doesn’t mean you know how to use them. I have fists, but I’m not trying to be Muhammad Ali.

If you ever take a class for bass guitar remember this: they are legally required to teach you how to funk out to “Brick House”, which you will be required to play at least once per set.

“Cougar, we gotta land this thing, we are waaaay low on gas.” Yea, Top Gun quotes are coming back in style. I’d argue they never went out of style.

If Dr. Phil and Delilha had a love child the result would be an overly sappy, bald person with no sense of humor. Or as Webster’s defines it “a disk jockey.”

Always remember your Dad thought your Mom was hot.

My radio channels the songs of people who already have dead careers.

I should get bonus points for letting my professors dog eat my homework.

Action Backpacked Adventure

Natural pose.

Yesterday Mark and I ventured forth to the Student Union on a quest to purchase new backpacks. We went together because neither of us felt like standing in a sea of students by ourselves, and it is more fun to go with a friend. I hate to part with my old backpack, but it has developed a syndrome known as “barf your books on the ground” or “zipper doesn’t zip any more”, which is embarrassing. Though I’d rather my book bag have that problem than my pants. It would be embarrassing to have books fall out of my pants.

Walking my way?

Lately everything has a syndrome, and my bathroom door has the equivalent of leprosy. The knob falls off either side a lot, and often it jams and won’t let you back out of the bathroom. But I digress.

At the book store we tried out an array of backpacks, but the ultimate question arose when we discovered a one strap backpack we both liked. Are we cool enough to wear a one strap backpack? Neither of us were sure. I should establish that a one strap backpack is not a satchel or a manpurse. Though dashingly handsome, charming, and debonair, neither of us are metrosexual enough to sport a satchel (you don’t wear a satchel. you sport it).

Springing in to action to overcome the question of crisis at hand Mark called Maggie from the SU  (I kid you not) and the conversation went along these lines: “Hey, Baby. What are you wearing?… Am I cool enough to wear a one strap backpack?…. No, not a satchel… I am?!… What about Seth?… Cool.” He hung up, we made our purchases, and headed out.

Just walk away… while Mark attempts to do the robot?

Back that Class Up

For me this week has been exciting. It has been a year since I was a college student, and it feels good. Especially since I’m being a good student and avoiding World of Warcraft and Xanga and actually studying a great deal. In fact, basically all I’ve done is study. And it is good to see my friends around, such as Matt, Mark, Eric, Brad, Devin, Alan, etc…

My schedule is as follows…
10:30, MWF, Speech (2713-007) - Ronni Danuser
11:30, MWF, Psychology (1113-007) - Christina Almstrom
12:30, MWF, Technical Writing (3323-010) - Dana McCutchen
12:30, TH, Sociology (1113-012) - “Netherlands” Meij
2:00, TH, C Programming (2432-001) - David Monismith

It is a good schedule. I especially like my psychology class. Speech is a lot of fun and we have a cool mix of students including several of the guys from the freshmen basketball recruiting class, such as Terrel who scored 21 points in last nights victory.

Letters

Razor Scooter Boi,

Razor scooters were cool five years ago after the Super bowl Dotcom Commercials. Trust me, I was here.And even then they were only popular for two weeks, and it was the scooter that was cool not the person on it. If scooters were amazing then everyone would have one to match their Segway. Get in my way again and I will push you and your Kelly Clarkson pumping-ipod over.

Dear Girl at the Post Office,

If you’re going to stare at me with a huge smile and great big eyes while I’m in the middle of a conversation please feel free to interrupt. I thought you were Kelsey’s friend and that we were going to get an introduction. You’re probably using my for my new backpack, but that is okay.

Dear Taco Mayo,

I was pleased to find your quality has not changed. I still eat your food and find it disgusting, but I am hooked. Say hello to Marty for me.

Dear Everyone Going to Coldplay,

I know Coldplay’s music better than anyone. Each attempt to have a ticket purchased for me has failed miserably. Unless you’re offering me a ticket, please do not dwell on the fact you are going to their concert and I am not.    

Going to the Chapel

Saturday I headed to Tulsa with Brad and Darcy to attend the wedding of our friend Tegan. We arrived at 5pm for the 6:30pm wedding because the Bride requested Darcy be there early. After showing up on time and saying hello we decided to pass the time eating Braum’s food in the parking lot, because we roll in the hood like that.

The ceremony was beautiful as well as short, perhaps hitting the six or seven  minute mark. Tegan has Scottish (immortal) heritage, which meant a few kilts were being sported (but not by members of the wedding party) and at the reception the bag pipes were-a-blowin’. Her mother-in-law sewed the dress, and it was the perfect dress for Tegan. Very beautiful. Congratulations to the both of them.

Being a single young male meant I competed for catching the garter. By “competed” I mean we (the single young men) stood in one spot and acted as though a syringe of Ebola was being thrown at us. It fell about 5 feet short causing us to exchange glances of relief, and then I stepped forward and grabbed it.

It is like truth or dare. You want that dare to french kiss your crush, but you can’t act eager. You have to act like you’re too cool. Too cool for kissing. Hell yea, that is me.

Now that I have the garter it is time to find whose leg fits it, other than mine. So, if the ladies will queue at my door the process can begin. Whoever’s leg it fits is the right girl.

Tentatively my posting schedule goes as follows…
Wednesday, the 11th (for sure) - About my return to the college classroom.
Friday, the 13th - About my Christmas, though this post may have to wait until the following week.

I am using Xanga as a reward. If I have my homework and assignment completed then I can post. Instead of Xanga potentially becoming a bad influence on grades, I am using it to reward myself for good grades.