The Language of Roofing

Summer has set in and I find myself once again participating in the endurance sport of hot tar roofing, or as it is also know “Rooftop Rotisserie”. I atrophy and bleach during the winter, and during the summer I tan and muscle up (kind of).

This summer I’m working for my Uncle’s company, and I’m spending a lot of time out of town, which means at night I’m often recovering from the heat of the day by relaxing on a cheap comforter in a Comfort Inn with my air conditioner set to slightly above zero kelvin. To pass the time in hotels I watch a lot of the Discovery and History channels. Thankfully a lot of history involves explosions, which are high entertainment to watch and require no mental agility, like knitting or scratch and sniff stickers do.

The people I work with are an interesting bunch. See, my name is Seth. It sounds like “Beth” but the “B” is replaced with a capital “S” sound. I bring this up because I have been called everything but Seth for the last two weeks. Sea-th, Zeth, and Set are the most common, with Sea-th taking the lead by several lengths. My last name is Hardiman. More people ask me to spell or pronounce Seth than they do Hardiman.

It shouldn’t surprise me then that when I used the word “monolithic” two coworkers asked me what it meant, or that when I used the word “existential” two people had brain hemorrhages and collapsed. These are good men I work with, but they aren’t always the brightest rockets in the silo. I said “I’m doing well” and someone “corrected” me, no, “You’re doing good.” As far as these guys go the word well should be stricken from the English language except as an interjection. The only valid use of the word “well” on a roof would be in the following context:

Person 1: *pointing at a piece of work* “You didn’t do that good.”
Person 2: “Well, Fuck you!”

When I use exclamation marks I always wonder if someone stops and thinks “He is so not an exclamation mark kind of guy.” I bet Gwynn does (initially I typed “pet” instead of “bet”, which is a typo I don’t think she or her boyfriend would have appreciated). On another note I wave to people when they sign-off instant messenger. Also, I give the “thumbs” up when I type “okay”.

Donate

One of the things that keeps me from blogging while away is the fact that my laptop is 29mhz, has 28 megabytes of ram, an estimate 5 cm viewable screen, and a 28.8bps modem, not to mention Windows 95. And I’m not about to haul my desktop around from Comfort Inn to Comfort Inn.

In order to help fight potential posting droughts, I’m offering readers a chance to help. In museums there are always nifty plaques that say things such as “Gordon Smith - Honorary Person of Great Stature - $2,000 donation”. I’m now allowing the opportunity for you to show your level of friendship by donating/purchasing towards my Apple MacBook Pro (~$3,099.00) in the same way, and yes - I’ll put nifty plaques on my wall with your name and the amount you donated. Please allow 5 days for all personal checks to clear.

This answers the life long question of: Would Seth whore himself for an Apple product?

However, it doesn’t answer the most recent question troubling my mind: We eat broccoli, but who does broccoli eat? What position on the food pyramid does The Broccoli have? Is it a pawn in this brutal game of devour-er-ation? Or is it a bishop, waiting to side swipe you when you least expect it.

There Were Bells

For Memorial Day weekend my entire family gathered as my sister Rebecca married the wonderful John O’Brien. It was a monumental occasion that couldn’t have gone better. There were people from across America and around the globe (Paris, Bangkok, and Tokyo). Right now Mr. and Mrs. O’Brien are spending their honey moon in Istanbul. When I have some pictures of the wedding I’ll post more.

Their wedding even made the Sunday New York Times. Below is the announcement as it appeared in the NY Times, but feel free to check it out at the link above. Username: bugmenot213213, password: 213213):

“Rebecca Caitlin Hardiman, a daughter of Victoria Hardiman and Keith G. Hardiman of Ames, Okla., was married there yesterday to John Joseph O’Brien, the son of John F. O’Brien Jr. of Needham, Mass., and the late Mary T. O’Brien. The Rev. Mickey J. Moery, a minister of the Disciples of Christ, performed the ceremony at the Ames Christian Church.

The couple met at Harvard, from which they graduated, she cum laude.

Mrs. O’Brien, 28, received a law degree from the University of California, Berkeley, and is an associate in the New York office of Ropes & Gray, the Boston law firm. Her father owns the Hardiman Roofing Company in Ames. Her mother retired as a German teacher at both Drummond High School in Drummond, Okla., and Ringwood High School in Ringwood, Okla.

Mr. O’Brien, 26, received an M.B.A. earlier this month from Columbia and is to begin in July as a management associate in the executive management program at Reed Elsevier, the British medical and scientific publisher, in New York. His father retired as the chief executive of Allmerica Financial Corporation, an insurance company in Worcester, Mass. The bridegroom’s mother was a social worker in private practice in Newton, Mass.

The bridegroom is the stepson of Carleen A. O’Brien.”

Brain Storms

Last night a large thunder storm moved through most of Oklahoma. There was a terrific display of lightning. So I pulled my car over, set my camera on a 15 second exposure, and snapped a few photographs. This one is neat because the left bolt of lightning struck, then a car drove by (hence the red line), then the right bolt of lightning struck. It created an interesting layering effect.

Currently Germany has an unemployment rate of over 10%. I think it would by hysterical if those people all went to Poland on the same day.

Time to go return comments from the last few posts and catch up with all my favorites.