Saturday June 17, 2006 17
Quote:
“There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn’t get laid.” - Dennis Leary on the 1960’s
Wrestlin’ Gators!
It is hard to get back in the swing of Xanga with all the work we’ve had lately. Sunday morning (the 18th of June) at 6am we’re leaving for New Orleans, where I’ll be working for the rest of the summer doing hot tar roof work on the federal court house complex.
My brain leaked on your screen
I leave you with some tidbits of my brain to keep you entertained until I find a steady internet source in Na’rlans….
I wanted to take my niece to the circus the other day, but I didn’t on fear that I would be charged with having carnival knowledge of her.
I am naming my next kid Didgeri. That way I can tell him “Didgeri do this…” and “Didgeri do that…”
Instead of a lucky rabbit’s foot. I want the entire rabbit.
Guy: “What is that?”
Me: “This is my lucky rabbit key chain. It is hell on my ignition.”
I am amazing magical!
Tonight Laura’s father hosted a BBQ. It was delicious. Part of my evening included entertaining some of the small children. The kids were trying to teach the dog tricks (which translated in to pointlessly feeding the dog a lot of BBQ, much to the dog’s delight). I tried - unsuccessfully - to teach the kids the following trick…
1.) Go inside and fill my cup with ice and Coca-cola.
2.) Bring it back.
3.) Watch me drink it.
For the children, it is more a trick on them… and not nearly as entertaining or thirst quenching as it is for me - The Uber Magician. Eight year olds have no damn sense of humor, and they don’t have dirty jokes to trade either.
I’m starting a new flavor of ice cream: Mashed potato. Instead of caramel you can put hot brown gravy on it. “Hello, I’d like to order a mashed potato and hot gravy sundae.”
Laura has been reading the “Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl”. I hide it in the attic every night.
A Story of the Fart
A true life story, about our friend Jeff Clark… and I quote…
“Funny and incredibly rude story though… actually I have like three, but I’ll save them for later when I feel like sending you an email. But here’s one: Plane ride home. I am SICK as a dog. Two days of binge drinking combined with the heat and Taco Bueno and an airplane is enough to make you feel like crap. So I get on the plane home and I feel absolutely horrible. Stomach in knots. I felt like I was going to throw up, and I was in the inside seat, demonstrated below
0 [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] ! B ! [ ] [ ] [ ] 0
0=windows
1=me
2=dude
3=dude 3
!=aisle
B=beverage cart
See why I didn’t want to get up? So instead, I farted. It was loud, it was obvious and it was ripe. I did it, I know 2 heard me so I looked at him and winked. He didn’t think it was funny. I thought it was either that or I throw up on him. So I turned it into a game. The rules: I fart. That’s it. Every time I did it, I would wink at him and he would get even more pissed than before.
Then, completely accidentally, I spilled my water (that I had been sipping hard core because I felt like crap) on his magazine. I said “Sorry” in quite possibly the most sarcastic way ever, but I didn’t mean it sarcastically. I was just very tired and very sick. He gave me the go to hell look, we landed, I made it home and crashed.
This is why we’re friends. I can tell you stories about me farting on fellow airline passengers, and you’re still going to talk to me. You might even one-up me.”
