Quote: “I always bring my diary with me so I have something scandalous to read.
-The Importance of Being Ernest Goes To Camp. If Oscar Wilde “About Men” hadn’t written the original screen plays for Ernest, we never would have known Lavern and Shirley? Or Alf.

Note: Thank your support with my short lived Facebook group. I appreciated everyone who joined, but the day of that group is through.

apt-get install humor

If this cartoon made you laugh, then you’re going to love it here.

Bike’s Trick*

In the words of Dane Cook “I wanted to say ‘you’re about to be struck by a vehicle’”, but all I could do as I left the library on Wednesday was… point as a young woman stepped in front of a bicycle (riding in the designated bicycle path). The biker did a quasi-diet-coke-evil-sort-of-flip and she did what one does when struck by a bike, i.e. fall over. Quite a few people saw the incident because Preacher Bob had attracted a large crowd near the Library. According to one interviewed witness (me) the young woman didn’t kick her shoes off in a fit of joy.

* = “13. Slang. a.) a prostitute’s customer., b.)a sexual act between a prostitute and a customer”

Don’t Quote Me On This…

A few weeks back a young woman on the library lawn was interviewing people about their opinions on the day after pill being available over the counter. She said she was writing an article (that might be published in the O’Colly) for a class. Though the article was published, my quote didn’t make it. This is the journalistic equivalent of being asked to “come inside and have some coffee” at the end of a hot date. Except in this case the girl actually serves you coffee and sends you home.

How do you rectify such a situation? You go home and make your own damn “coffee”. So, I’m going to take the liberty of making my own journalistic coffee…

“My opinion is that I don’t think I’ll ever have to use it.” -Me

Whose On First? Yes, Who.

Quite a few students have cycled through the house I live in, and each often abandons things in our basement. Among other things we currently have 6 televisions, 5 computer monitors, and 5 mini fridges in the basement. Because of this cycle we’re never sure who owns what.

There is a 15 gallon fish tank in our living room. It has an automatic feeder, lights, water filter, etc, and even some fish in it. It should be noted that this fish tank has been here at least since I moved in 9 months ago. A few days ago I decided to purchase a new betta in loving memory of Mandrake (God rest his fins), which lead to this conversation with roommates…

Me: I’m going to get a betta for my room. Can I use the spare fish tank from the garage?
Tyler: We have a spare fish tank in the garage?
Me: Yes.
Tyler: Sure, go ahead and use it.
Tomo: But aren’t those your fish in the living room, Seth?
Seth: No. I thought they were Tyler’s.
Tyler: I thought they were Tomo’s.
Tomo: They aren’t mine. Who feeds them then?
Seth: The tank has an automatic feeder on it. I don’t refill it with food. Do you?
Tomo: No.
Tyler: I do, because sometimes I feel sorry for the fish, but they aren’t my fish.