Quote: “Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals’ likes chocolate.” - Sandra Boynton

Delicious Dilemma

Hand made from the finest ingredients (penguins and xanthan gum), Jelly Bellies are the world’s most amazing candy. In fact, Jelly Bellies are such a monumental candy evolutionary experts believed people developed color vision in order to differentiate between the flavors. The secretary at work keeps a jar of jelly bellies on her desk and in an attempt to not eat them all I limit myself to 8 precious jb’s each day.

Last week I found myself in a genuine dilemma after I dropped the same jelly belly on the floor twice in a row. Normally I’d have thrown it away without a second thought. But it was peach flavored (the god of jelly belly flavors) and it represented 12.5% of the edible population. So I put the jelly belly in my shirt pocket while I worked.

Finally, I ate the jelly belly with a clear conscious. My logic: If you didn’t know the jelly belly had touched the ground a bunch, then you’d have eaten it. So, I decided to forget that I’d dropped it. For the record, it was worth it.

Dear Jelly Belly Corporation,

I hate the taste of coffee. It never fails that the last jelly belly I eat is always coffee flavored. If you could replace the coffee flavor with arsenic it would save me from having to eat something gross.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Seth

My schedule has somewhat calmed. This post is dedicated to Rejcel and Chemicolors.