Quote: “Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, she never thought of her awful luck as being anything but accidents in a very busy place. Good for her.” - Kurt Vonnegut

IMPORTANT NEWS UPDATE REGARDING ME, YOUR HERO

Yes, it is true. Today I STEPPED on a squirrel. Neither of us sustained injuries, but it scared him in the most hysterical fashion EVER. I’ve never seen a squirrel express such hatred, shock, and disbelief.

A Healthy Dose of Ironic Humor

Nothing eases tensions and the stress of life as much as a nap or good humor. A healthy sense of humor is one of the best attributes a person can maintain. It isn’t uncommon for the name of an event to seal its own doom. The following is an actual two line e-mail sent to students at OSU regarding a particular class…

“Students,

The OSLEP procrastination seminar in May has been postponed until the fall. If nothing else, appreciate the irony.”

A Healthy Dose of Corporate Humor

It is a relief to find certain companies pride themselves with a bit of healthy humor as well. The time machine in the Back to the Future triology is a Delorean, and if you search their website for a time flux capacitor…

Simply grand.

Odds and Ends

Smoking could save you from the evil known as “Trees”.

Nothing says chic geek like a good tie.

The spirit of the cowboy lives on… in Germany.

In a moment of free time last Thursday I began to read the book Dune. 4 days and 500 pages later I finished one of the most interesting pieces of science fiction I’ve ever read. Absolutley great book. The book is even better if, like me, your imagination is completely captured by deserts. I’d move to Arakkis in a moment.

Quote: “He’s up in Heaven Now.” -In Memory of Kurt Vonnegut

Note: The people at Xanga come up with great ideas, but the implementation is often weak or terrible. For example, the pulse feature. If you want to read my pulses, follow the link above because Xanga’s own javascript doesn’t work in customized skins. I like the new Themes, but until I’ve played with it more I simply want to display the newest pulse at the top of this page. Grrr….

Note: I’m playing with the new Themes option for Xanga, so if the page looks weird - it is because I’m tinkering with its guts.

Geneiouses.

Of my older siblings and their spices* three are going to have children in the next six months. At the moment I have a niece and two nephews, and of the three new arrivals two are boys and one is a question mark. Rebecca has decided to not find out the gender of her baby in advance. I appreciate her decision because it helps build the anticipation and surprise.

Since she doesn’t know the gender, when people ask her what she is having, I think she should say “A doctor.”

Ambidextro…me

Logic is an amazing power. Take a fact, such as “The majority of people in the world are right handed.” Now, add logic and we get “That means the minority of people are hermaphrodites.” With the power of logic there are no tame sentences.

A lot of people border on being ambidextrous. I know a lot of people who write with a different hand than they pitch with, or bat with, or tee-off with. I’d never thought much about it, but I think I’m partially ambidextrous as well. I write, bat, brush my teeth, and tee-off with my right hand, but I flush the toilet with my left.

Cinco De Taco De Mayo

The famous Cinco de Taco de Mayo confuses many people, because May 5th has almost nothing to do with the famous event it celebrates, which occurred on June 7th, 1867 when Juan Quesadilla of Mexico invented tex-mex.

This year it also marks the date of my college graduation and how long it is before I can blog again. Until then this post must keep you occupied and humored. And until then, I’m wandering around the house like…