Now We’re Cooking with Gas, very Gay Gas.
This is definitively the strangest cooking video clip you will ever see in your life.
Now, tell me honestly. The whole time weren’t you thinking “He must be Patrick Swazey’s protege?”
Excuse me, I have some moves to practice now.
Until I’m Bloo in the Face
Recently I purchased 400 feet of string and a kite of Blooregard Q. Kazoo, the greatest imaginary friend ever. Trust me, I know him. So, Laura and I ventured to the library lawn where I used at least 375 feet of the string, because I am, Seth the Amazing Flier of Kites (or so my tattoo claims)…
That is me, and my Falcon. Some people say he is a kite, but deep down I know they are envious of the predator that obeys my every whim.
In real life I do not have a bald spot. But the devilishly handsome part is true.
Here Bloo is gaining altitude to find anything cool worth pouncing.
Bloo looks for victims leaving the library.
Me, in my usual state of excitement and enjoyment.
The Norwegian Bloo has beautiful plumage.
I am the Chuck Yeager of kite flying.
(Insert your own caption here.)
Bright Sun Light = Bad Facial Expressions. Proof of how much kite string I let out. Only about 15 or 20 feet weren’t let out.
I.Am.Amazing.
Bear Hands
In Grand Rapids, Michigan a 72 year old man beat up a wiley 27 year old pick pocket. Not only had the pick pocket made a poor career choice, but then he tried to pick pocket Bill Barnes, who is a former accomplished Golden Glove boxer, ex-marine, and retired iron worker. In other words, Bill can throw bone shattering punches, has been trained to kill, and has the facilities to forge his own weapons. He is survival of the fittest personified. When you examine a pyramid of the toughest, strongest, most powerful forces in the universe, Bill would be listed underneath God. Remember, when you turn to a life of crime steal from little kids or little old ladies. When you steal from a small child or octogenarians you know to expect either drool, hip problems, or perhaps a combination of the two.
After Bill comes Chris Everhart (another ex-marine… are you catching the theme here?) in Helen, Georgia. He and his three sons were camping when a 300 pound black bear attempted to steal their cooler of food. I say attempted because Chris raises no wimps, and his six year old son boldly threw a shovel at the bear. So the bear decided to eat the kid. Chris, who would have none of the “eating my kid nonsense”, threw a piece of fire wood at the bear. The throw struck the bear in the head, and KILLED it. As though he does that kind of stuff every day. On the other hand, it is easier to kill a bear than explain to your wife that a bear ate one of the kids.
This raises several questions…
In the end Chris received a fine for not properly securing his camp site. Apparently killing a bear (practically with his own hands) not constitute a secure camp site?
Pandas are bears too
A few days ago this picture of a lovable China man… I mean, panda made its way to the front of Digg.com, the best website ever. Digg’s user submitted content is top notch, but more entertaining are the comments users leave about each story. To explain this precociousness of the Panda, I’ll let actual comments answer your questions…
Tannerpwnz: “No fuckin way… How is that tree supporting the Panda’s weight??”
Ripstuntz: “@Tannerpwnz : You know how? Because Pandas are fucking bad ass, that’s how.”
Captinherb: “That damn tree could be 3 foot high for all we know.”
Claw787: “Who knows?, maybe there’s a tiger under the tree.”