Tests worth taking

Note: I changed up my layout a bit. Let me know if you hate it or like it. I’ll reciprocate comments tomorrow.

I’m not a proponent of online surveys and tests, but sometimes one so unique comes around that everyone should take it. I took this one because in life you can never be prepared enough.

Janitors and iPods don’t Mix

On Wednesday evenings I work at the OSU Psychological Services Center. I rarely mention it on this blog because the work isn’t exciting and the good bits are client sensitive information. What I can tell you is that the janitors that clean the building are beyond quarky. For instance, the last janitor had a severe case of crazy eyes. He wore an Indian Jones style hat, mumbled a lot, and looked like the Unibomber.

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Crazy Eye Hatted Janitor always said things like “Seth, you must get laid a lot. Guys with glasses do.” First, if I’d known that I’d have spent a lot more money on my glasses. Second, I own two pair of glasses. Things should be more exciting around here. Third, he wore glasses too, and that scared me. Besides, only a few times has someone stared at me, liked their lips, and panted “Your… glasses… Take Me!”

He’d also say things like “Not to alarm you, Seth. But don’t ride in any light blue cars for the next week or two.” Ah! How is that not supposed to be alarming? Then I’d spend the next week not hanging around people or strangers with blue cars. Or anytime I had to get in a car part of my brain waited in anticipation and prayed the car wasn’t blue.

You’d do it to if you’re janitor said that. Why? Because you’re human, and wouldn’t it suck to die, reach the Pearly Gates and have Saint Peter say, in a classy Irish accent, “You didn’t listen to Janitor. Did ya?”

Indiana Janitor doesn’t work in the building any more, but he has been replaced with an apprentice of equal social instability. This means I can’t listen to my iPod when I close the PSC because I’m smart, and I know from horror movies that when the Janitor starts going homicidal the first guy to die is the lone guy in the building wearing head phones.

Que es su padre ahora?

Note: After I wrote this post and updated my pulse, a question dawned on me: what is the verb for hitting a piñata. The phrase “Come play hit the piñata,” surely has a more suiting alternative.

The semester is officially finished for me. I completed my last final at 10:00am this morning. Of course I dominated the test with the same spirt of zest and zeal that Napoleon used when he squashed Europe while wearing geometric hats. I wore a stocking cap to try and capture similar emotions, but it didn’t compare to the same level of intensity as wearing an isosceles hat.

Shamelessly plugging the exploits of the self-crowned Emperor of Europe is a ripe opportunity to offer you a wonderful YouTube video clip of a March of the Penguins ad from France, land of Brie of and Wine.

The last few semesters have been solid psychology and statistics courses. Even though I love both subjects, 3 semesters of no other subjects hasn’t been the whirling orgasm of delight you might have expected. Next semester will break pace. Good bye Cronbach’s alpha. Hello, Nurse! I only have to complete one psychology class, and I’ll finish my English minor as well, so my classes are as follows…

• Neuro-biological Psychology
• Spanish II - I’m reviving my foreign language butchering skills by training with the “My Spanish Coach” game for the Nintendo DS.
• Film as Literature - We’re forced to watch and discuss good movies.
• Nonfiction Readings - Covers biographies, autobiographies, auto-erotic asphyxiation, and travel writings.
• Recreational Dance - I’ll become as smooth as Bond by learning a hodge podge of ballroom, swing, and other assorted flavors of dance. My goal is to master the Tango move where I sweep Laura off her feet while holding a rose by its stem in mouth.

My goal next semester is to combine Spanish II, Film as Literature, and Recreational Dance to create something as classy and clever as the One Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song video.