Test

I’ve seen a lot of movies recently, and the funniest moment came in the credits of perhaps the saddest film: Milk.

You probably expected to see “The Reader” listed there rather than a movie named after the delicious drink our nation dunks Oreo cookies in, that kittens love, that moon cars and UFOs use as fuel, and that we turn in to the miracle known as ice cream. (UFOs and moon cars run on dreams and ice cream.)

Not to take a dump on holocaust films, but I’d like to get this out of the way: I’m sick of movies about the holocaust. First, we’re all aware of the atrocities that took place. Second, they always nominate holocaust movies for the Oscars, even when the movies are bad. Here is a secret: I think the movie “The Pianist” sucked. Interesting, yes. Good, no. That is why I’m not going to see “The Reader” any time soon.

The movie Milk is about Harvey Milk, who was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977. He was the first openly gay man in American history to be voted in to public office. He was a good man and a excellent politician. Sadly, he and the mayor were murdered by Dan White, another member of the Board.

The murder is famous because of its pointlessness and the loss of 2 good men.
The trial is famous because of White’s defense, which is now known as the “Twinkie Defense”. His lawyer successfully argued that White had not committed pre-meditated murder, because White was high on sugar. Yea, I’m not joking. You can look it up on Wikipedia. But that isnt the funny thing.

Obvsiously, the entire movie pivots around the homosexual community in San Francisco. Almost every character in the movie is homosexual.

And I kid you not, the following line is in the credits….

“Gay Man … John IWasLaughingToHardToRememberHisName”

I about fell over lauging in the theater when I saw that scroll by. I can just hear the conversation…

Fred: “I hear you’re an actor. Have I seen you in anything?”
John: “I was in the Oscar-nominated movie `Milk’.”
F: “Wow. Congratulations on that. Who did you play?”
J: “I played the gay man.”
F: “Isn’t there more than one?”
J: “Yea, but I’m in the credits as the gay one.”
F: “So there is just one line of credits?”
J: “No, there were a lot of characters in the movie.”
F: “Did you play all of them, like Eddie Murphy does in his movies?”

This is the only problem with owning a Sunni couch.

Laura is a fan of the game Animal Crossing. In the game you take control of a human character living in a village populated by little animal villagers. You can raise flowers, plant trees, grow fruit, go fishing, catch bugs, dig for dinosaur fossils, collect new outfits and furniture, upgrade your house, and interact with the villagers. It is a simple but addictive game as you try to collect the hundreds of unlockable items in the game.

Each resident of the village has a catch phrase. And during conversations the characters sometimes ask you to suggest a new catch phrase. This is where my brilliance and knack for covert operations comes shining through. When Laura isn’t around, I’ll play the game and give everyone new catch phrases. Then I wait for her to play the game and burst in to hysterics when lines such as this appear:

I changed the catch phrase to “My Vagina!” The rest of the sentence is about how it is evening in the game.

I keep to a strict no-blogging-about-work policy. But I will state that I’ve been busy coding a website, and that is why I’ve been absent again. It launches soon, and I spent most of Saturday and today at work knee deep in PHP. Work is its normal combination of good with moments of stress.

Saturday Laura and I ventured to the In-n-Out Burger near Pier 41. While we ate lunch we watched a large group of Pro-Life supporters march. Two things impressed us. First, they made almost no noise. No songs, chants, hymns, or screams. It almost seemed like a social get-together for the mute. Second, they numbered in the several thousand, trickling by in an endless stream. Their numbers made their quiet demeanor even more eerie.

It occurred to me that the silence is probably due to a lack of Pro-Life Chants. So, I’ve penned the first Pro-Life Chant that I am aware of. It is modeled after the great Vietnam Era protest chants…

What do we like?
Babies!

How do we like’em?
Alive!

Also, during a Pro-Life march it seems a bit ironic to eat at In-n-Out (from either a Pro-Life or Pro-Choice stand point - Even more so if you’re familiar with Hemingway’s short story about abortion).

My sister is pregnant! And in celebration, I drew her my own version of Picasso’s “Girl Before a Mirror”.

I’m a huge fan of Picasso. Not in the typical “I’m one of those people, who like everyone else loves Picasso,” but rather I read about him (a lot),. I practice drawing in his styles. I enjoy recreating his art. I invest a lot of time in learning and studying about Picasso.

I think he and I would have gotten along quite well. We both seem spirited and creative. But I don’t have breasts, which history shows was the best way to get the man’s attention. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want his attention that way.

I’d rather have conversations with him, such as…
“Nice painting!”
“Thanks, Pablo. I’m glad you appreciate robots too.”

He probably liked frilly toothpicks as well.

Here is a version of the horse from Guernica that I did on construction paper with purple marker. Walgreens is  great. It is located 1 block from my house, and it sells plenty of construction paper, markers, and pens to keep my imagination busy and in production.

I’m going to purchase Xanga for life.

If I’m still writing on this thing in 80 years, I’ll be impressed. If I’m still writing on this in 180 years, I’ll be very impressed, tired, and retired on a spacious resort on Io.

Laura and I came across this guy several days ago in San Francisco. We immediately thought of Picasso’s Blue Guitarist.