The basis of this post is that I personally should have the final say on all previews released by Hollywood. And if a preview reveals too much information about a movie, I get to shoot the producter of the preview, or anyone else responsible, in to the sun.

As an avid movie fan, I can’t watch previews because they reveal too much, and I don’t want to know anything that might ruin a movie for me. When I see a preview, it is equivalent to teasing Sherlock Holmes with clues to a new mystery. Soon every detail is devoured, nothing is missed, and I’ve figured out the movie before I’ve seen it. And when I actually watch a movie, I devour things even faster. I want to start a movie with as little information as possible. Example: 5 minutes in to the movie SAW, I knew who that killer had to be.

Couple that with the practice of Hollywood revealing every important detail in a preview, and it transforms seeing a great movie in to seeing a mediocre descent movie. Hollywood suffers from severe incontinence of plot, and they tend to show every funny moment from a movie in the preview.

It excited me to see two previews in 2009 that I’d rank among the best previews ever crafted. First, the original District 9 preview astonished me. It had suspense, mislead you in a method that made the revelation more impactful, and revealed little about the characters or plot. It made you hungry, but it didn’t feed you.

District 9 – Original Theatrical Preview (a direct link in case you need it):

I give the preview a grade of 100%. However, even small changes to a preview make drastic quality differences. Later, I’ll show you a preview that ruins a major moment in the movie. This first preview had a second version that made two small changes – it revealed that faces of the aliens and translated what they said – which removed much impact. I’d rate that at 80%.

The next great preview of 2009 was Where the Wild Things Are. Here is an extremly rare case where the preview is much better than the actual movie. Where the preview provided a sense of wild adventure, fear, hope, saddness, and love, the movie failed to provide any of these. (In fact, this preview was better than most of the movies released in 2009.)

Where The Wild Things Are – Original Theaterical Preview (a direct link in case you need it):

The Bad and The Ugly

Although District 9 had a great initial preview, the later TV preview ruined the entire fucking movie to anyone who paid attention. Everyone responsible for this preview should be shot in to the sun because at 0:55 they show a critical scene from the last battle in the movie. They did this by showing an almost innocent action – the hero catching a missile midair. However, the movie was unpredictable enough in many aspects that in the final battle you weren’t sure if the missile would be stopped. However, if you saw the preview and had paid attention, the moment was ruined.

District 9, TV Trailer #3 (a direct link in case you need it):

Remember when the movie Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers came out? Well, I’d never read the book, and I had no idea that Gandolf was still alive. But you know what, fuck suspense and powerful emotions, at 0:44 in the preview, some ass decided to ruin the most powerful scene from the first movie by spoiling the greatest scene from the second movie. Yes, that is right, in the PREVIEW

Two Towers, Theatrical Preview (a direct link in case you need it):

My final example is from the movie No Country for Old Men. It is an example of a tiny clue that ruined the last quarter of the movie for me. At 2:10 in to the trailer, they show a car wreck.

No Country For Old Men, Theatrical Preview (a direct link in case you need it):

I’d guess that for most people, that car wreck meant nothing. However, if you’re observant then you know to expect the car wreck from the preview. Since the location of the car wreck only matches one scene in the movie, you can anticipate the wreck instead of it being a complete surprise to you. And that wreck is probably the only moment of true surprise in the movie. However, Joel and Ethan blew it. Also, since the wreck’s location is specific, as the movie starts to wind down, you know that Anton Chigurh has a final visit to make and that sometime soon he’ll be in a car wreck.

I’ll save shooting Joel and Ethan in to the sun, but I might have to if they slip up again.

The basis of this post is that I personally should have the final say on all previews released by Hollywood. Not only that, if a preview reveals too much information, I should get to shoot the producer of the preview in to the sun. I’m serious.

As an avid movie fan, I can’t stand to see previews because they reveal too much, and I don’t want to know anything that might ruin a movie for me. When I see a preview, it is equivalent to tease Sherlock Holmes with clues to a new mystery. I miss nothing. Give me one clue, and I’ll figure out the entire movie before I’ve seen it. When I actually watch a movie, I devour things even faster. Example: 5 minutes in to the movie SAW, I knew who that killer had to be.

Couple that with the practice of Hollywood revealing every important detail in a preview, and it transforms the magic of movies in to a massive disappointment for me.

It was exciting to see two previews in 2009 that are among the best previews ever produced. First, the original District 9 preview astonished me (as far as previews goes). It has suspense, misleads you in a method that makes the revelation more impactful, and it reveals nothing critical about the plot.

District 9 – Original Theatrical Preview (a direct link in case you need it):

This preview gets a grade of 100% in my opinion. However, even small changes to a preview make drastically change the quality. A second version of that preview later made two changes. It revealed the faces of the aliens, and it translated what the aliens said. Those two changes ruined the impact of the original preview, but it still made a decent preview. I’d give that version a rating of 85%.

The next great preview of 2009 was Where the Wild Things Are. Here is a case where the preview is much better than the actual movie. Where as the preview provided a sense of wild adventure, fear, hope, saddness, and love, the movie failed to provide any of these.

Where The Wild Things Are – Original Theaterical Preview (a direct link in case you need it):

Let’s move on to some of the bad and the ugly. Although District 9 had a great initial preview, the later TV preview ruined the entire fucking movie to anyone who paid attention. Everyone responsible for this preview should be shot in to the sun because at 0:55, they show a critical scene to the entire movie and one of the most important parts of the last battle in the movie.

District 9, TV Trailer #3 (a direct link in case you need it):

Remember when the movie Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers came out? Well, I’d never read the book, and I had no idea that Gandolf was still alive. But you know what, fuck suspense and powerful emotions. At 0:44 in the preview, some ass decided to ruin the most powerful scene from the first movie by spoiling the greatest scene from the second movie. Yes, that is right, in the PREVIEW

Two Towers, Theatrical Preview (a direct link

Here is my final example. This is an example of a tiny clue that ruined the last quarter of the movie for me. At 2:10 in to the trailer, they show a car wreck.

No Country For Old Men, Theatrical Preview (a direct link in cas eyou need it):

I’d guess that for most people, that car wreck meant nothing. However, if you’re observant then you now know to expect that car wreck in the preview. Since the location of the car wreck only matches one scene in the movie, you know anticipate that car wreck instead of it being a complete surprise to you. And that wreck is probably the only moment of true surprise in the movie. However, Joel and Ethan blew it. Also, since the wreck’s location is specific, as the movie starts to wind down, you know that Anton Chigurh has a final visit to make and that sometime soon he’ll be in a car wreck.

I’ve found it hard to blog after picking up the hobby of stand-up comedy. Two issues arise. First, when I have posted videos of my stand-up in blog posts, people tend to say “Oh, I’ve read that before. Do something original.” Second, seeing as the world of being funny is competitive, I’m afraid to post my best thoughts in fear that someone might steal what I write. I’d write more about my life, but I prefer many aspects of my life to be private.

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If you know me, then you know I love movies. More specifically, I love going to the theater. A love of the movie theater probably came from seeing a movie a week in theater from about 5th grade until my Freshman year of college. And that doesn’t touch the number of rentals our family watched. To give you an idea, our VHS collection at one point topped 1,000 films… and I’d seen all of them except maybe 90.

(Tonight I actually saw ‘Up in the Air’ and ‘Youth in Revolt’ back-to-back.)

Here are the movies that I can remember seeing in theater this year:
Coraline, Push, I Love You Man, Milk, Monster’s vs Aliens, Star Trek, Terminator Salvation, Up, Year One, Transformer’s Year of the Fallen, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Paper Hearts, 9, Jennifer’s Body, The Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Where the Wild Things Are, Planet 51, Avatar, District 9, The Hangover, Inglorious Basterds, Up in the Air, A Serious Man, The Fantastic Mister Fox ,Watchmen, 500 Days of Summer, Youth in Revolt.

There are ten movies I had hoped to see that I missed. But of the ones I saw, here are the best (in no particular order):

1. Avatar
2. Inglorious Basterds
3. District 9
4. The Hangover
5. A Serious Man
6. Up in the Air
7. Up

Note for my list, I try to pick one movie from each genre.

What do you think were the best movies of the year?

I will always have a voracious travel bug, because I will never cease to be amazed that you can fall asleep some place familiar and wake up in a new place. I’ve fallen asleep and woken in amazing places. Last December I traveled to Germany and Israel. And on January 1st, 2009 I woke up in Mugraby Hostel in Tel-Aviv (one of my favorite hostels ever) and experienced one of my favorite days abroad. Hence the title, because today is 267 days after January 1st, 2009.

I shared a coed dorm-style room with a guy named Sam (from California) and two young women. Sandy, from Germany, and a young Russian girls whose name escapes me at the moment. For Sam, it was his first trip abroad and almost every experience was new to him. He’d already gained a good set of interesting travel stories: almost being robbed, someone trying to sell him cocaine, a girl randomly making out with him.

Above: Sam shows Sandy a few magic tricks

Sam is the only high school traveler I’ve met who seemed like an adult and not an American idiot with a passport. He and I hung out quite a bit. And he is the only magician I’ve ever known or met. He had great tricks and was always eager to find the card you’d thought of or make something disappear or reappear. A young David Copperfield without the super model ex-girlfriend.

Above: Sandy showing the albums she’d picked up at a local music store.

Sandy was shy, but not introverted, and gave the immediate impression of someone you wanted to know. She was the first person I met at the hostel, and if I remember correctly, she was a lion tamer from Detroit who’d fled north to Canada and then swam across the Atlantic to take political refuge in Germany from the Salvation Army or she was born and raised in Germany, had some rough spots here and there, and was now trying to finish university while she worked as a stylist.

Above: The Russian girl. Sophie?

She always had some place to go and always extended an invitation.

Now that you’ve got the setup. First, I’m always finding new people to hang out with. And I made good friends with two girls from the states named Claire and Lisa. I spent New Year’s Eve day exploring Tel-Aviv, and then I met up with Claire and Lisa to visit some bars along the beach, during which time a friend and I faked being their boyfriend’s in a completely platonic fashion (both girls have nice, real boyfriends, but wanted a way to fend of advances). Then I met my wonderful friend Mor, rang in the New Year with her, and retired for the night.

The morning of January 1st…

I woke up in the morning to the odd colors of the room. We’d all made it back to our beds from our various New Year’s outings.

After getting ready, I went downstairs and ate breakfast with Sam….

And Sandy.

Breakfast consisted of toast with butter followed by two more rounds of toast with butter, and of course no bacon. Delicious. And for Sandy it also consisted of a few cups of coffee. Perhaps more coffee than toast – Europeans tend to eat many meals that way. It was Sandy’s last day of travel. Not having any plans, She and I decided to wander the local market and explore until she needed to head for the airport.

From here, the day was idyllic. We bought fresh fruit drinks in the market, and watched the vendor cut and juice the pomegranates and oranges, we wandered around the markets, had a few small conversations (but we were almost silent the entire time), and the rest of the time we each took in the sights and sounds and cool breeze on our own.

Above: Near the start of the market, Sandy stopped for a cigarette.

She had cigarettes – a brand I’d never heard of – made from a kibbutz (maybe jsolberg can let me know what brand). The cigarettes were inexpensive, which wasn’t the point. Rather the point was to partake in something local. I’m not a smoker by any means, but I had one as well, and she snapped the following photograph of me.

Above: Me looking at the book Sandy had on Buddhism called “The Way Things Are”

Remember, you shouldn’t smoke. Or smoke and hold a flammable item. Something about smoking while holding a book on Buddhism is comical to me.

Above: Sandy asked these two men if she could photograph them, while I robbed them. Except for the robbery part.

Above: This is one of the photographs of the two men she photographed while I photographed her. A solid impression of Audrey Hepburn.

I should have taken more photographs in the market. For some reason I didn’t take any, which is very unusual for me especially given all of the interesting fruits, colors, textures, and items that you find in a market. But we spent an hour or two wandering through.

The photograph above is of a car mechanics. I’m not sure why I photographed this and not the market. But that is the way things are, and am I fine with it. Although the place was an interesting rag-tag collection of items. It seemed more like an abandoned warehouse and less like a auto shop.

Above: At some point during our morning, I found this. I am an avid fan of Banksy – it is the right theme and style, but something about it seems more like a copy-cat than an original.

Eventually we made our way to the beach. We walked along it for a ways, stopped once or twice to talk, and then we said goodbye. She headed back to the hostel and then to Germany, and I headed to the train station to go meet Solberg (a story for another post).

Above: Sandy photographing the sand. Amazingly she still has some of the delicious fruit drink from much earlier in the market.

Above: More of the beach.

Above: Taken from the same vantage point as the previous image, but with my 10x optical zoom. I took this in case you’d never seen orange chairs up close before. It appeared to be a chair convention.

Above: Another self-portrait snap shot. I must have more of these than anyone on the planet.

That is the other thing I love about travel. You meet wonderful people, enjoy their company immensely, and then each go a separate way. You don’t need to stay in touch with everyone you’ve ever met (although I do exchange contact information with almost everyone I meet, but it is mostly a formality). What more can you ask for than an excellent friendship, even if it is only for a day or two?